Sunday, May 21, 2006

Assorted thoughts of a postgraduate Pseudo-Supermum

I worked six days this week. Well, six and a half, really. Monday to Saturday at work. Thursday night choir practice and Sunday morning organ-playing.

On Tuesday afternoon, I left work early to see my supervisor at Uni. Felt dizzy and nauseous on the way there, and could barely assemble my thoughts into any intelligent kind of order, let alone clued-up postgrad kind of order. I'm not sure whether this was (a) exhaustion; (b) a panic-attack or (c) total meltdown caused by too much stress altogether.

Whatever - I took it as a sign I needed to chill a bit. Wednesday afternoon wasn't much fun - a test at hospital to see if my February day-surgery had been effective. Result? Improved, but not a total cure. I wasn't surprised - but it confirmed my disappointment. Did I do any research reading on Wednesday night, then? No. Nor on Thursday, because I had choir practice. This gets a bit ridiculous, really - when will I ever get anything meaningful done?

Friday, I worked for an hour, attended a committee meeting for half an hour, then headed to Stirling for a Hogg symposium. James Hogg was a Scottish Borders poet who was famous and influential in the early 19th century. He collected songs, so I need to know about him and his collecting activities. The symposium was excellent - just a pity I couldn't be there for the whole morning. Still, it was nice to spend a few hours just being a postgrad - and not trying to squeeze a quart into a pint pot at work or multitask at home! Of course, when I did get home, it was still Friday night, which meant it was still time for the supermarket dash, and the laundry-processing, etc. Dull, but necessary.

This afternoon, we visited friends. SuperSpouse's aged aunt has advancing Alzheimer's and it's awful. This friend, on the other hand, is only a little older than SuperSpouse. Her Alzheimer's isn't yet as advanced, and if you hadn't known her a year ago, you mightn't have realised there was anything wrong. However, it was only too apparent to us adults. It's desperately sad - a positive, spirited personality becoming anxious and dependent. Her husband is marvellous - we take our hats off to him for the way he's coping. But it can't be easy for them.

I've got two days off now! SuperSpouse is going to Budapest for a few days with a tram-loving friend. To make life easier for the school run etc, I'm taking tomorrow off in lieu of Saturday, and Tuesday off to reclaim some of the extra hours I've put in recently. I can spend two whole days being a postgrad, concentrating on my research and trying to make a bit of progress.

Right now, however, I need to encourage no.2 son to get ready for bed ...

A propos of the bullying last weekend - higher authority is looking into the situation and assures me that it will be dealt with. Thank God!

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