Saturday, July 08, 2006


I didn't want to do it - I really, truly didn't want to do it ...

but I was the one that arranged to go and give Godmother Helen her birthday present this evening, ... and SuperSpouse decided I could start driving his car.

Let's put it in context. I haven't driven his car in 18 years, and that's a conservative estimate. I've never driven anyone else's car, and I've never hired a car. I have wee short legs, and small feet, and I'm terrified of getting into a car and finding I'm either too short to see where I'm going, or my legs are too short to reach the pedals, or my feet are too short to rest my heels on the ground when I'm driving. (You'll concede that it would be kind of difficult to drive if I couldn't rest my heels on the ground. You try ... )

Okay, I've had a car of my own all this time. I had a wooden board on the floor of every Lada I owned (three in a row), but I've managed okay with the Citroen BX and the Xantia. But who was to say the C5 wouldn't be too big? It feels bigger.

When we go on holiday this summer, I'll have to share the driving. This is vital - SuperSpouse goes to Budapest the week before our family holiday and gets back from Newcastle Airport the night before. Precisely. I have to learn to drive his car. Then drive it 200 miles to the airport in only a few weeks' time.

Well, on a quiet Saturday evening, I couldn't really get out of it. I drove all the way to Helen's house, and thought I was off the hook. Imagine my horror when he reversed the car out of Helen's drive then got out and told me to drive home, too.

Okay, at least I now know that if I have the seat r-i-g-h-t forward and as high as it will go, then I can drive the car. The gear ratios are different, and the braking is different, but I can manage. Reluctantly!

(What does that make me? An Other-People's-Car-Phobic, I suppose!)

Cue for a joke. A friend's mother had a double hip-replacement operation a while ago. She asked the surgeon, "And will I be able to drive afterwards?"

"Why yes, of course - leave it about six weeks before you do it, though."

"Well, doctor, that's amazing. 'Cos I've never been able to drive before!"

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