Gulp! Two of the family passports expired at the end of June. On Tuesday I'll be impoverishing myself getting "same day" renewals. If I was richer, it wouldn't hurt so much! But what else can I do?

There's too much happening this week. Physio. Audiology. Doctoral end-of-year assessment. Preparing for the family holiday.

I was challenged to learn to play the pipes before we went to Fingal's Cave. (In Victorian times, tourists took a piper with them to play in the cave, so they could hear the echo. That's tourism for you!) I want to hear that echo - but I cannae play the pipes! I can get a tune from a chanter. I can fill the pipes with air. But as for getting:-

• the equivalent of an octopus with rigor mortis under my arm,


• the pipe into my mouth,


• three drones over my shoulders,


• and my fingers round the chanter at the other end of the bag ...


• and then PLAY the thing ...

... well, how am I supposed to coordinate all that?!