Thursday, August 15, 2013

In Susan Boyle's Footsteps

No, I won't be singing, 'I dreamed a dream'.  I just went to Taylor Ferguson, Susan Boyle's Glasgow hairdresser!

My colleagues approve.  One son was sent a photo, and approved.  One noticed (hooray!), and one didn't.  Neither did my spouse.  And my mother disapproved.  Next time, I warn you, I shall have it dyed red!

Monday, August 12, 2013

There Will Be Hell to Pay for This!

Aids for the Elderly and Overweight?

'Someone' kindly left this sales catalogue on my desk at home.  You don't think - surely not! - they would have been so unkind as to have meant me to find this helpful garment:-

Well, all I can say to THAT suggestion is this, accompanied by a big raspberry.  Page 22 - it maybe wouldn't be big enough! Excuse me - I'm off to the swimming pool, where I propose to swim until I positively shrink. 

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Puritanical To The Last

Call me Griselda.  My virtue has been questioned, unjustly.  It's a good thing I read Chaucer at school.

Though I must confess, there's a flaw in my virtue: I don't cut the carrots small enough, and sometimes I use a washing-up bowl instead of the dishwasher.  A slovenly spouse, indeed.

Sunday, August 04, 2013

So I will drive 500 miles (and I will drive 500 more)

'Stout Supporting Shoes - God Help Me!'

The woman who fell on her toe
Suspected she'd broken it so
She saw her GP
Who inclined to agree
But said it was okay to go ...

So in trainers she drove to her Mum*
It didn't seem terribly dumb
Since she ably changed gear
For miles without fear
No niggles to make her feel glum.

Today she set off for the gym,
In hope that she'd soon become slim
But imagine her woe
When they said that her toe
Should be x-rayed- the outlook seems grim.

No workouts, no classes at all - 
And all 'cos she happened to fall
While grabbing the phone
She fractured a bone
And all for a redialled call!

* Yes, I drove 1000 miles last week.  I thought I had a fractured toe - and now I know!