Pseudo Supermum

2011-09-01T23:26:00.000+01:00

Pseudo-Supermum's job is one-third done: Cello-Kid is about to turn 18, and goes to college in just four weeks. Yes, I do realise we still need to be "there" - even four hundred miles away - but legal adulthood is an important milestone nonetheless. One down, two to go.

Meanwhile, Viola-Kid is soon undertaking his school work-experience - which will be an interesting experience for him. But we've still got the exam roller-coasters to get through, so I can't begin to think we're nearly there yet!

And Saxophone-Kid? A new sax teacher beckons. Little does he/she know what's in store.

2011-06-09T23:21:00.006+01:00

GRUMPY OLD MEN

On Tuesday morning, I rose at 6 am; was in the pool by 7.05 am; and swam until 9 am. I did my 100 lengths, impeded only by the Grumpy not-very-Old Man who bumped into me twice (or did I bump into him?), while I was doing backstroke. I didn't look where I was going!!! (You try looking where you're going, when you're swimming backwards on your back.) If I did it ONE MORE TIME, he threatened, he would report me and get me ejected from the pool.

I kept swimming. Not only do I despise bullies, but I knew that unless he was doing 100 lengths as well, then he would get out of the water before me! Which he did.

Anyway, that was just a blip. Having completed the challenge, I leapt out, showered, and headed for home. Had to forego the bacon butty, as I got caught in the most horrendous traffic jam on the way to the Clyde Tunnel. Still, I hastily changed, headed for work, and got coffee and a bacon butty at Cowcaddens subway coffee-bar. Justice had been done!

I arrived at work on an adrenaline high. Strangely enough, it ebbed away until by noon I was a crumpled, exhausted wreck. And still I had five more hours to go. It hadn't occurred to me that normally, I do a day's work, swim at 7 pm, and then go home to subside for the remainder of the evening. I don't normally swim for two hours, use up my most useful energy, and then attempt to put in a normal day.

Still, I survived through to 5 pm, went home all prepared for a lazy night, and discovered SuperSpouse was too busy to take the boys for their music lessons, so I crawled to Bearsden and back before I could subside into oblivion at home! That's men for you. At least (this time), my own old man wasn't grumpy!

2011-05-30T22:44:00.000+01:00

WATCH OUT, BLUE TEE-SHIRT ABOUT!

Clad in the RNID tee-shirt (don't worry folks, I'll wash it tonight!), I waylaid friends and colleagues at coffee-breaks today, with gratifying results. Then this evening, went and swam 96 lengths in training for the sponsored swim a week tomorrow. Actually, doing so many lengths is profoundly boring! I'll be keeping up swimming as a form of exercise (all those endorphins are good for keeping migraines at bay) - but I won't be maintaining the punishing schedule I've inflicted on myself since March!

I've discovered a flaw in my character - I don't like going up to people to ask them to sponsor me unless they're personal friends of mine. I'd be hopeless as a charity worker pounding the streets!

2011-05-29T09:15:00.000+01:00

ONWARD, CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS!

It's Sunday and time to go and play at Killermont. I'm a teeny bit ashamed to confess that I propose to don my blue RNID tee-shirt at coffee-time; hopefully I can try to persuade friends to sponsor me for my swim!

The blue shirt doesn't go with my black and pink outfit, carefully chosen to go with my black and pink hood and gown. Ah, well!

2011-05-24T21:49:00.002+01:00

CINDERELLA'S WARDROBE

Trying to get noticed?!

I had coffee with Eileen from RNID Scotland, this morning. She brought with her an RNID tee-shirt, which I can wear while I'm looking for sponsors for this Centenary Swimathon.

So that's 3 new garments in two days - the superskinny swimsuit, the suitable swimsuit, and the RNID tee. Cinderella is quite excited at these additions to her wardrobe!

She's also rather pleased to note that she has accrued £75 of sponsorship to date.

2011-05-23T22:41:00.001+01:00

THE SWIMSUIT SAGA

Friends, I promised myself a new swimsuit when I achieved a certain weight. Off I went to the sports shop this lunchtime, but picking a new costume wasn't so easy. I couldn't decide which size I needed. The costume I optimistically picked turned out to be distinctly too small when I got it home.

So, wasn't it convenient that the leisure centre sells swimsuits? Cinderella could have a new costume after all. Hmmm ... which size did I need? I concluded this was easy - all I needed was one size UP from the skinny-size which I will keep in a drawer until the next weight milestone. (2011? 2012? Who knows!)

Although it looked as though there was a great choice of Speedo costumes there, it turned out that the size I wanted was clearly the size most average women chose, because there was actually only one there.

Finally, finally, I got into my new swimsuit and decided that I had now got it right. It came as a relief not to be fidgeting with the shoulder straps in an effort to remain decent from beginning to end of my swim, as I'd been forced to do with the old one.

Alas, it was now later than I'd intended. And I tired sooner than I expected. All this swimming is tending to reduce the incidence of migraines, but I ended up with one all the same this evening.

80 lengths. Good enough, but not outstanding. Still, I'm nearly there. I'll probably do the 100 lengths on or around 6th or 7th June - just in time for the RNID Centenary on 9th June.

2011-05-18T22:51:00.001+01:00

+POOLSIDE HUMILIATION

Okay, friends - it's a bit dark, but I asked the lifeguard to take a photo of me in the pool for my RNID sponsored swim challenge. So, since I've done the humiliation bit, and am now up to 80 lengths in my training, please will you do the generous thing and sponsor me? Here's a reminder of my JustGiving webpage:- http://www.justgiving.com/Karen-McAulay

2011-05-04T22:59:00.000+01:00

A small triumph!

It turns out that Arriva had a link missing from their website - and it just had to be the child 4-weekly pass link. (Nice of me to flag it up for them, wasn't it?!) A kind lady got me the old link, which will remain active for the next month or so until they get the new website corrected.

HALLELUJA! Justice prevails, and I've got those two passes ordered. It's a pity about the hiatus caused by the Bank Holiday, but at least it's sorted out now.

I'm just too damn good at spotting inconsistencies in websites!

2011-04-27T21:39:00.001+01:00

I buy our sons' monthly bus-passes online. Well, I have done up to now. Last night I went to the Arriva website - oh. Different layout. Not to worry - it'll be easy to navigate. But although it was easy to navigate, there were no 4-weekly child savers for West Scotland. Adult, yes. Student, yes. Child (the third option up to now), not at all, nowhere.

Today, I phoned Customer Services (0844 800 44 11) - was advised to phone Newcastle.
Phoned Newcastle (0191 520 4000), was advised to phone back to speak to Margaret who was at lunch.
Phoned Newcastle later, spoke to Margaret - not her pigeon. 'You've been put through to the wrong company.' Eh?!
Was put through to "Glasgow", which turned out to be Johnstone Bus Garage - nothing to do with online ordering.
Phoned Customer Services again. This time, got Option 8: Scotland. Their website was going slow, but they tried to phone Head Office and got no reply.
Phoned Head Office myself. (08700 404 343) They put me through to "Upstairs", but "Upstairs" wasn't answering.
"Downstairs" advised me to phone "Upstairs" again in the morning.

So that's 24 hours and - still no Child Saver 4-weekly passes. I could understand them dropping a little-used product, but to the best of my knowledge, parents still have children needing to travel by bus - so what's the problem?!

2011-04-17T23:11:00.000+01:00

THE LIFESTYLE OVERHAUL goes on. Yesterday I swam 40 lengths, did 50 mins cardio in the gym and got a mega-migraine for my sins. Migraine relief did nothing at all for me, but paracetamol reduced it to bearable. Ho-hum.

Today, therefore, with a choral Palm Sunday extravaganza to pull off at night, I thought I'd better not over-indulge in the exercise stakes, in case I brought another migraine on. So - well, I washed two cars, cut a six-foot high hedge, weeded just about the entire back "garden", dealt with the laundry, cooked, baked - and of course, did the choral extravaganza. (The two young trumpeters that Cello Kid found for me, were superb, I might add - they really added a touch of sparkle to the proceedings.)

Do I have a headache? Mercifully, no. Shoulders protesting mildly, but that's all.

Oh, just one thing, though. I'm lucky to be alive - I cut through the hedgecutter cable. What a good thing I was using the circuit-breaker!

2011-03-24T22:35:00.001Z

Someone has been prowling round my dining-room. I should maybe set this in context by explaining that I buy a massive amount of food, including tasty snacks, on a Friday night. But the occupants of Testosterone Manor then devour all the tasty snacks, immediately, unless I hide them. However, last night "someone" did some research and helpfully left labels for his brother to find. Right. Luckily, he's not a very good detective, though.

2011-02-13T21:54:00.002Z

On traffic diversions and teenage back-seat drivers

Clyde Tunnel Roadworks

Traffic Scotland link

They started their repair-work on the Clyde Tunnel approaches yesterday, and by today we were in contraflow with cones all over the place. (See the STV news above.)

So there I am, driving along this morning behind a Council Works van. He went left; I was facing an arrow pointing left and another pointing right, and seemingly no indication that I could jink over to the "wrong" side of the road to proceed northwards on a contraflow.

"Go THAT way", proclaims the TBSD, flapping his hand aimlessly about. I remonstrated that drivers needed precise directions like "left", "right" or "straight on", since I was more concerned with driving than with watching his flapping hand. I turned right. "I told you", insisted the TBSD, "to go THAT way. It was perfectly clear. And now I'm going to miss my train."

It was a close shave by the time I'd gone round three sides of a square and driven right past the station. Which I had to do, since there were cars behind me in this blooming contraflow, and I couldn't just stop.

But he did catch the train, so I am still alive.

2011-02-12T21:21:00.001Z

Modern Librarianship?

Someone was trying to come up with an image to sum up modern librarianship. Trickier than you'd think - electronic databases don't make good pictures!

I had a go at producing my own "still-life" image, and here it is:-

2011-02-06T14:21:00.001Z

You know, I can understand why we have world wars. If even three brothers can't rub along peacefully of a morning, it's hardly surprising if whole nations turn either in on themselves or against each other.

However, all is peaceful after lunch. My most successful maxim:-

If all else fails, feed them carbs!

2011-02-02T23:04:00.004Z

Men! What would we do without them? Superspouse, thinking I could do with some flowers, brought home a beautiful bunch of roses. Can't remember if they were prompted by a guilty conscience, but it doesn't actually matter, because they still look lovely three weeks later. I wonder why? (The first reusable peace offering? I've put them away for the next time he needs them. To be fair, they are so realistic that he didn't actually realise they weren't real...)

Meanwhile, Superwhizz Cello-Kid - not known for his tact - just casually pronounced at the dining-table,

"Of course, you're infertile now, aren't you, Mum?"

When I stopped spluttering - and Viola-Kid regained a straight face - I carefully explained that "infertile" generally meant, of childbearing age but unable to bear children. Whereas I had borne THREE of them, though my reproductive years were probably coming to an end. Thankfully!

2011-01-09T14:33:00.001Z

MY SATURDAY

The Domestic Goddess

Brief sortie to LIDL and PO
3 loads laundry
'Made' Angel Delight
Cooked (from scratch) vegetable soup, spaghetti bolognese, apple pie
Brief sortie to Blockbuster
Baked and decorated buns
Half hour scrubbing Cello-Kid's new white sneakers, stupidly worn into town in the snow ...

'I'm so tired', I moaned.

'Can't think why - it's not as though you've done anything much', pronounced SuperSpouse. Formerly SuperSpouse. Can I put his pedestal on Freecycle?

2011-01-08T10:54:00.000Z

Now hang on a minute! Who said Glasgow needed more snow? Oh, I see - it's a re-run of Christmas. Right, I'll just get the tree down from the attic again ... bake a cake ... good thing Santa's on his holidays, though.

2010-12-29T21:14:00.001Z

Another prayer

(Thanksgiving)

I'm genuinely grateful for the nice young mechanic at Arnold Clark/Renault who fixed my seized seatbelt in 30 seconds flat this morning! (No more snow and ice, and a car I can drive again - oh, happy, happy day!)

2010-12-27T00:03:00.000Z

I don't much like snow and ice. Correction, I think I'm snow-phobic as far as driving in it goes.

Nonetheless, I ventured out to Paisley on Christmas Eve. Dropped off a card and present, got back into the car - and the seatbelt seized. Not round me, I hasten to add - it wouldn't pull out of its casing at all. And when I moved the car, something started bleeping. Then beeping, louder.

Driving without a seatbelt is illegal in the UK, so I phoned the dealer. Call for breakdown assistance, they said.

I did. Two hours later, minus 5 Celsius outside and in the car, and the mechanic arrived, only to confirm that - yes, folks, the seatbelt had seized. Plugged the passenger belt into the driver's seat-belt slot, and despatched me on my way. Gratefully home, I discovered the dealer's workshop was quite naturally closed by now. Ah, well.

I got lifts to and from the midnight church service that I had to play for. And lifts to and from church today. By this time, I couldn't have driven if I wanted to - the locks had frozen and the car was impregnable. Great.

But guess what, folks? It's apparently 3 degrees out there now. My car door opens again - and maybe some of the ice might melt tomorrow. Leaving me 'just' with the seatbelt problem. Roll on Wednesday!

2010-12-19T15:35:00.000Z

A little prayer

Dear Lord,

when I made a lovely pot of Scotch broth to save time after this morning's choir practice, why did you let one of my menfolk buy a Burger King; one fix his own lunch because he couldn't wait; one not have time; and one lose his appetite; then dump so much snow on us that the carol service looks a lost cause ...?

2010-11-22T23:05:00.001Z

My car locks itself when I pull away, and remains locked until I open the door. Good thing, in Govan Road at 6.45 pm. I pulled in to change a CD - next thing I knew, an old man was trying to get in. Repeatedly.

Shouting, "NO, go away, I'm not a taxi" made no difference at all. Luckily he let go when I drove away.

I feel mildly traumatised! He's probably still wondering why the taxi-driver was so rude as to drive off. If he wasn't smashed out of his face at the time. I didn't stop to check.

2010-11-01T20:26:00.000Z

Pseudosupermum has concluded that she wasn't cut out for parenthood. I keep getting things wrong. I had a fantasy that one day my adult offspring would look forward to coming home to visit me.

Not the way things are going, they won't. They'll just run a mile and never return. It doesn't make sense - you do a hundred little NICE things every day, put yourself out, try to be helpful - and do they appreciate it? No.

Someone shoot me!

2010-10-31T13:42:00.003Z

A new game?

I'm contemplating inventing a game called FlatShare. Your housemate needs help fixing lunch. You are (a) going to the gym; (b) willing to help in principle; (c) totally disinterested; (d) only actually interested in eating it; (e) eating out so it's no concern of yours.

2010-10-30T21:55:00.004+01:00

First stop Amnesty International or Childline?

Grounding a teen constitutes child-abuse. Apparently. (Parents of teens, unite. You've nothing to lose but your sanity.)

2010-10-30T13:30:00.003+01:00

Hated, reviled ...

Don't worry - it's just another weekend at Testosterone Towers. Where's the escape hatch?

2010-10-26T19:51:00.003+01:00

McAulay's Latest Rant

I bought a school tie, and I sewed a nametag in it. I know I did.
Two years later, it got stolen. It 'hadn't got a nametag in it'. No, right.
I bought another. Last Saturday. And SEWED A NAMETAG in it. I'm 101% certain I did.
This evening, it has no nametag. But the little wee cut threads are still there ...
The youthful owner is about to be cut down to size ... but I haven't named him. Since he plainly wishes to remain nameless ...

Aaagghh!

2010-10-24T20:45:00.005+01:00

A lazy weekend ... well, I think it was. But what do I have to show for it?!

The supermarket run
A replacement school tie & more school shirts
Maternal wardrobe advisory service
Maternal taxi service
Maternal catering service

Maternal laundry service

New library ticket (that was for me)

2 nice clean cars

2 bus-passes ordered & assorted emails

One church service;

And finally - LOUD fanfare - I've glued up the new bathroom cabinet mirror.

Small wonder it feels like it's been a lazy weekend. I haven't opened a research book at all. I think a glass of wine is almost essential, don't you?!

2010-10-23T12:41:00.001+01:00

195 years ago today, musician Alexander Campbell returned home from his song-collecting trip in the Scottish Highlands and Western Isles. He covered between 1100 and 1200 miles mainly by boat or on foot, gathering specimens for his Albyn's Anthology collection - which he would publish in two volumes between 1816 and 1818.

On 23rd October 1815, Campbell took the mail-coach from Stirling back to his home town, Edinburgh.

No emails or Facebook to check up on, though he had been away for three months. Just a mountain of snail-mail, including communications from all the people whose arms he had twisted to collect songs or tales for his project ...

Yes, RSAMD Whittaker Library has a facsimile copy of Albyn's Anthology. Naturally! Check the catalogue here.

2010-10-21T22:49:00.000+01:00

Friends, please forgive me a moment of vanity while I show you my Fellowship certificate from CILIP. The presentations took place at Members' Day last Thursday, 14th October, 2010. It's the highest honour in my profession, so I am just a little bit proud of myself!

2010-10-21T22:30:00.000+01:00

Small-Fry is doing an acrostic on the letters of his name. He got to "R". Each word was supposed to describe him in some way.

'Rabid, Mum?'

I explained that he wouldn't live long if he was rabid.

'Ah. Shall I say, "Relaxed", then?'

We agreed that was probably a better choice ...

2010-10-18T23:19:00.000+01:00

When you realise you've overdone it ...

For heaven's sake! I've been to work, eaten at home, been to a Gaelic evening class, and done a spot of tidying up. Put some laundry in, hung a few pictures ... but really nothing unusual.

I've done no research, no writing, no paperwork whatsoever. But I'm knackered. What kind of a wimp am I? It's 23:17 and I have a little dusting to do - just the stuff on the upstairs landing. And then will I feel like opening a book? Questionable!

I'm not doing too much, I'm only a day older than I was yesterday ... ah, that's it:- Time is flying by quicker. Of course.

2010-10-02T16:31:00.002+01:00

The distance between Pollokshaws West and Pollokshields West is ...

£5.*

When you show your ticket to the ticket inspector on the gate, specifically ASK him, is this train going to Pollokshaws West, and get on the train in all good faith, would you not think he would TELL you if you'd got it wrong?

There were points failures and delays, go-slows and stops (all this before the first destination). And then I realised.

Don't breathe a word ...!

* That was the taxi-fare to rectify the situation ...

2010-09-25T20:19:00.001+01:00

When I got home from playing for a funeral this morning, it was like Clapham Junction chez nous:-

Viola Kid going out the front door;
The window-cleaner wanting the back gate opened;
The computer-whizz friend just leaving (front door), after helping SuperSpouse unravel 2 pc's;
The Tesco man delivering the groceries at the back door, AS the window-cleaner had his well-earned coffee out on the patio;
Cello Kid just back from a party, and
Saxophone Kid just at home where he was meant to be.

Having dealt with that lot, I started making onion soup. Enter SuperSpouse. 'When's lunch?'

Fine. 20 minutes later, lunch was served. I went and swam 30 lengths, nipped into Morrisons to get stuff for tomorrow's harvest festival, came home and dealt with laundry, lasagne and a bread-and-butter pudding. Which we then despatched with due ceremony and a glass of Chardonnay, then chased down with a coffee. Whereupon I fell asleep. Insomnia, me? No, never, never, never.

It's all rather annoying, however, because I want to start thinking about a book proposal, and you do need to be awake for that kind of thing. PseudoSupermum does not have boundless energy, despite appearances to the contrary.

2010-09-23T22:24:00.000+01:00

It's 22:20. I've been at work all day, taken a choir practice this evening, sorted the laundry and loaded the washing machine. Suddenly, doing an online Tesco order has little appeal. Will the world really end if I don't do it?

Here's my own tie-breaker:-

If I had an au-pair, would I ask her (or him! now, there's a thought) to do this particular chore right now?

So on this occasion, the answer has to be no. No-one in their right minds would send an au-pair to Tesco at this time of night. And if au-pairs have human rights, dignity at work, or whatever, then why not me?

2010-09-19T17:58:00.004+01:00

A mid-life crisis is when you wonder if you actually made bad career choices all down the line.

I mean - could the struggle to become a genuine, dyed-in-the-wool bluestocking scholar really have been any harder than struggling to convince the world that librarianship is more than stamping (or cataloguing) books; convincing oneself that marriage is more than keeping your other half clean, tidy and well-fed; or convincing your kids that your irritating little foibles actually stem from wanting them to grow up well-balanced, reasonable human beings?

Let's take stock.
**

Scholarship. Would have been easier in my twenties. I got there in the end, and have some fetching stripey blue (and grey) tights (not stockings) lined up for the winter. But I'm 52, trying to make my CV look as though I've been effortlessly doing this scholarly thing all along. And it's hard work catching up on the lost two and a half decades.
Marriage. It is actually not possible to convince another human being to put things away. Anywhere. Ever. (Or if it is, it must be someone else's other half, not mine.)
Kids. Idealism is futile. Forget the grand aspirations. I want to raise three young human beings capable of being congenial, hygienic flat-sharers. That's all.

And for all my philosophising, my friends, I became a Doctor of Philosophy. Which entitles me to philosophise legally, anywhere I please. So there! One ambition fulfilled.

2010-09-16T22:35:00.003+01:00

Concentric circles - a way of explaining the e-resources in a library:-

Library holdings
Library e-subscriptions (e-journals, databases, streamed sound)
Free scholarly resources
The best of the rest

So there you are - now you know!

2010-09-15T23:10:00.002+01:00

Ancient Scotish Melodies or Scotch Mist?

Day course at University of Glasgow, Dept of Adult & Continuing Education, Saturday 20th November 2010.

Drs Karen and Karen (McAulay and Marshalsay).

Sign up, Sign up! Plenty of room for more ...

2010-08-21T22:14:00.004+01:00

Once more, Lady Muck sat idly all day today. I imagine she must have just polished her nails and watched TV. She certainly didn't do three loads of washing! Neither did she hang it out, get it in, iron it, and neither, by the same token, did she cut two hedges. The sorcerer's electrical apprentice did it again.

Lady Muck dislikes that apprentice - while she endeavours to laze around pretending to be kept in the style to which she ought to be accustomed, he keeps dragging her into things. It seems he can't do anything unaided.

However, Lady Muck would like it to be known that she did swim 30 lengths all by herself (apart from the efforts of the pool lights, chlorination unit and sundry other services), and, after "helping" the E-apprentice with the hedge-cutting, she now aches all over and is disinclined to do anything else at all!

2010-08-20T21:10:00.002+01:00

Friday night - online shopping night. What a bore! I lost the first multishopper list by somehow closing the window while others were open, and had to start over again. Hmph. (And of course, online shopping doesn't count, because no time or effort goes into planning and buying enough groceries for five people for a week!)

Meanwhile the dishwasher chunters, SuperSpouse having filled it earlier. And the washing machine churns - no, don't let it be said that I had anything to do with it - it's running itself, having sorted the washing beforehand. Naturally it will empty itself and hang up the washing on the pulley afterwards, proving SuperSpouse right yet again. The washing machine does the washing, and I don't.

Will the iron do the ironing without human intervention as well? Truly, we have the sorcerer's apprentice here under my roof.

2010-07-31T18:37:00.002+01:00

So - here I am on holiday. How do I squeeze 2 weeks of relaxation, 2 weeks of domesticity and 2 weeks of scholarly reading/writing into - well, 2 weeks? Can't do without sleep - that wouldn't be very relaxing, and would go against getting the other stuff done. Tricky.

Anyway, this is Day 1.

I took boy to hairdresser
Boys' room put back to rights after the cabin/loft bed building (family effort)
Spouse arranged builder
I arranged roller-blind fitter
I arranged replacement mirror for bathroom cupboard
Jointly started emptying the next bedroom for the 3rd and last cabin/loft bed.

Still a bit to do. Dinner; online shopping order; scholarly reading; trip to get ingredients for tomorrow's dinner (before the online shopping order can be delivered!); more tidying; deal with laundry.

There are those who would have it that I'm a self-obsessed scholar who allows SuperSpouse to do Everything about the house. It's not true!!!!

2010-07-29T23:40:00.002+01:00

The future is digital. Pseudo Supermum has a digital SLR at last. And you know something? It doesn't remotely resemble my 35mm SLR. I can see a lot of time spent studying the instruction manual before I take any photos on it!

To date, I've

Charged & inserted the battery

Inserted the memory card

Taken ONE photo to prove to myself that I can

Installed the software on my PC and registered ownership online

And that felt like enough 'baby steps' for tonight. Meanwhile, Cello-Kid can't wait to get his hands on it (he hopes!) - but I want to know how it works first.

For now, I need to chase Saxophone-Kid to his newly-assembled cabin bed, urge Viola-Kid to have his supper, and think about a glass of wine before our own bedtime.

2010-07-26T23:15:00.004+01:00

I am going to SCREAM!

I've worked all day. Visited three shops this evening, put some more plants in the border, altered two new black concert shirts, and done the ironing. And NOW? At a quarter past eleven, I am sick and tired of refereeing between arguing adolescents.

OK, I know, I know. Get real. This is what real teenagers are like. Must they swear at each other with such venom, though?

Aaaaargh.

2010-07-25T12:55:00.003+01:00

Yesterday morning, there was a dead bush in my garden. But my neck didn't hurt.

The roots went surprisingly far down, in seemingly all directions.

* I couldn't ask SuperSpouse's new knees.
* I couldn't ask Cello-Kid to risk his hands.
* I couldn't ask Viola-Kid to risk his pride.
* I couldn't ask Sax-Kid - insufficient strength.

Which left me.

There is no longer a dead bush in my garden.

2010-06-26T09:41:00.000+01:00

If I wasn't sitting here, I'd be getting ready to go out for coffee. Maybe I'll get back to reality and avoid rushing at the last minute ...

2010-06-24T18:40:00.002+01:00

Constantly checking for emails is like looking to see if the fairies have brought you any magical surprises. The surprise is - they generally don't.

2010-06-19T19:02:00.004+01:00

Won a prize in a Scottish Field magazine draw - a night and a round of golf at Inchmarlo, Aberdeenshire.

Now, we don't play golf, but the boys had a lesson and a session on the driving range. Fab drive up north, fab place - a wonderful mini-break.

2010-06-19T18:49:00.005+01:00

Boom-diddy-Boom-diddy-Boom-diddy-BOOM!

Sigh! My youngest son (11) is getting so sophisticated.

"Where's the music coming from?", I asked.
"Oh, the people over the road", he sighed. "It's a really annoying remix of an old song. It's faster than the original and it's got this annoying repetitive bass underneath ..."

He's ELEVEN! And an observant critic already.

2010-06-14T23:44:00.002+01:00

I've worked my butt off tonight, clearing the kitchen and bathroom of clutter for the painters coming tomorrow. I've packed everything up neatly, washed the kitchen floor, taken down curtains and put them in to wash. I can't think where the night has gone. Meanwhile, SuperSpouse went to do some organ practice at church, but since his return has been embroiled in civic development in ancient Greece, Rome or Egypt - not sure which. I hope at some stage soon (it's nearly midnight) to bring him back to the 21st century for a glass of wine before bed. But that blooming woman keeps sighing that she needs more buildings, or needs worshipping, or whatever ancient Greek/Roman/Egyptian matriarchs most need at 11.45 pm on a Monday night.

Aaaaargh! She can come and do some 21st century home management with me if she wants something to keep her busy.

2010-06-13T13:22:00.002+01:00

Go to church - play for two services, go home.

'Morning, Mum! How was your morning? Gee, thanks for letting me lie in.'

No. Wishful thinking.

Avenging Angel appears, clutching cheap Primark tee-shirt. 'DIDN'T YOU READ THE WASHING INSTRUCTIONS FOR THIS TEE-SHIRT?!!!!!!!'

I looked. Wash at 40 - yes. Don't dry-clean or tumble - No. Medium iron - well, I steam-ironed using a tea-cloth so that the heat wouldn't go directly onto the transfer, as is my custom.

The dinosaur's glasses don't look metallic any more.

Honestly, I never seem to amaze myself. How anyone so well-intentioned can get it so crassly, crashingly, disgustingly wrong most of the time is a miracle to me.

You know, really this blog has become outdated. For 'PseudoSupermum', read 'inadequate domestic, barely worth naming at all'.

Better stop here. I have to make an apple-crumble and iron SuperSpouse's trousers. Heaven help me if either goes wrong.

2010-06-07T21:49:00.004+01:00

I didn't paint the wall. There! Don't you admire my self-restraint? More to the point, I discovered that (a) masonry paint was expensive, and (b) I wasn't going to have the time to do it properly if I was going to cook a nice dinner for my alter ego coming across. Doctor Karen no.2 - or should that be no.1, since she got there long before me?!

I've sweet-talked our painter & decorator to buy me some paint using his trade discount, and then I'll cajole dear, lovable, capable SuperSpouse into painting as much of the wall as his knees will reach.

This morning, I couldn't even have a shower until I'd seen the boys off to school. Back upstairs - I n-e-a-r-l-y got as far as the shower when the phone rang. BACK downstairs to answer, UP to fetch documentation that SuperSpouse needed me to look out, DOWN to the phone, UP to fetch my glasses so I could read it, DOWN to do my secretarial wifely duty. And UP to the shower a second time. Dressed in record time, flew out of the house and made it to the subway with barely enough leeway to get to work on time.

I sat on the subway reflecting on all the stuff I had to fit into my lunchbreak and concluded that it was impossible. Owed an hour's TOIL (time off in lieu), I negotiated to take a double lunchbreak to use it up, and made a list of messages. I did it. I even sat outside a cafe and had a cup of tea, though it wasn't peaceful or relaxing in the least.

Sat on the subway this evening reflecting on all the stuff I'd fitted into my lunchbreak, and couldn't believe how much still awaited tomorrow's normal lunch hour. Humph.

2010-06-06T08:08:00.001+01:00

Superspouse is tram-surfing in Milan. I'm told the North-South divide has occurred again amongst the Last-of-the-Summer-Wine fraternity, but I'm sure they'll surmount it.

Meanwhile - I told him I'd cut the hedges, and he expressed the hope that I wouldn't go on to paint the garden wall while I was at it. Now, wasn't that a stupid thing to say???

2010-06-05T23:22:00.005+01:00

I've just signed up to the Library Routes Project, so now I need to tell all my eager readers about how I got to where I am today! Hold onto your hats ...

Mind you, I'm not the first music librarian to participate in the project. Look for Edith Speller from Trinity College of Music, who got there long before me.

I'd better explain that the picture is of a memorable summer when my colleagues did some weeding whilst I was on holiday ...!

What to be

Right. I couldn't decide between music, journalism and law at school in Norwich, but really there wasn't any way of doing all three, so a decision had to be made. I studied music at the University of Durham, with a vague idea that being a music critic would be a great idea. Wrote some concert reviews for the student newspaper, but realised quickly enough that actually, not many people managed to be a full-time music critic. I needed a Plan B.

Arts admin? Orchestral librarianship?

So I thought, maybe arts administration would be good. I'm sure it would have been, but the jobs and even the professional training seemed to need prior experience, and I couldn't find a way in. Which led me to wonder about becoming an orchestral librarian (Plan C). I did get an interview for the Ulster Orchestra - but then I got the opportunity for doctoral research at the University of Exeter, so I put the career ambitions on hold and headed southwest.

Scholarship?

Three years later, I'd acquired an MA by research, changed subject, got halfway through a PhD, and decided against a life in academia (couldn't imagine myself standing up in front of a class). Back to Plan C(ii) - I spent a year as a graduate trainee at Exeter University Library, followed up with a postgraduate diploma at College of Librarianship Wales in Aberystwyth (achieving nine months in the Land of My Fathers while I was at it), and headed back to Norfolk and unemployment.

A Career and a Pension Plan

Before long I was a temporary cataloguer at the University of East Anglia. This was nice, but I hadn't planned on ending up back in Norwich, and I needed something permanent.

The North (to quote the road-signs)

I got a job as Music Librarian at the Borough of South Tyneside (South Shields Central Library, to be precise), and remained there for 3 years, acquiring a cat (Fergie), a chartership (Library Association) and a husband (Hugh) while I was there.

Further North

At this point, a job came up at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama, so we headed north in 1988 and have been here ever since. We now have three sons (had to give the cat away when the first son had infantile asthma), and are somewhat surprised to find that even the youngest is already leaving primary school).

The irresistible lure of research - and steely determination

Meanwhile, it might have taken me 25 years, but a small-scale research project made me realise that I should actually have finished that PhD - I had forgotten just how fulfilling research can be. Back I went to uni, this time as a part-time student at the University of Glasgow, paying my own way and doing the studying in my "spare" time (ha!), and I graduated five years later in December 2009. My research was into Scottish Song Collecting between 1760 and 1888. I chose the subject partly because we offer a BA in Scottish Music - and I wanted to study something that was relevant this time, having chosen something distinctly obscure the first time round - and partly because I wanted to be sure there would be plenty of primary sources on the doorstep, knowing I wouldn't have much chance to travel around whilst holding down a full-time job. Actually, you'd be surprised how much I've managed, mostly by taking annual leave to do it. (That's where the steely determination comes in. You need it in bucketloads to do a PhD part-time, believe me.)

The 2nd picture is my PhD alcove at home. (A through-route to the kitchen, and not a peaceful corner!)

I've also submitted a portfolio to CILIP for Fellowship, and recently heard that I've been accepted as an FCLIP. I do feel honoured to have this recognition.

Papers, articles, stories & reviews

The joke is that I've now delivered so many papers - not to mention two decades' worth of user education - that standing up in front of a bunch of students really doesn't phase me any more. I've also published several papers, scores of book reviews - and (shh!) before we had the kids, I published 30+ short stories and a serial for the People's Friend magazine. The muse will out! My next aim is to turn my doctoral thesis into a book - and that's probably a bigger challenge than anything I've yet done. Oh, and I'm still carrying on with research (hey, I'm used to researching in my spare time now), and giving the odd conference paper. I was on the Isle of Skye this week - I loved it so much that I threatened to chain myself to the railings outside Sabhal Mor Ostaig and throw the key into the sea...

Good bits and bad

The best thing about my present job? Working with music, working with staff and students, and ensuring that the stuff we acquire can be found easily and effectively. However, I have catalogued more books, scores and recordings than is healthy for any librarian, and I have to confess that the excitement palls after the first decade or so.

My major preoccupation is in ensuring that our students get a thorough grounding in library use and information retrieval, to prepare them for the big scary world outside - wherever in the world they end up. Also in supporting academic colleagues so they have the resources that they and their students need. I must admit it feels good knowing I've got the research background to understand just what they need, and what's important to them.

I've already mentioned CILIP. I should also say that, like Edith, I also value my membership of IAML(UK and Irl) - the UK and Irish branch of the International Association of Music Libraries - where we have a great forum for discussing professional issues with like-minded people. And - to keep in touch with my new research-minded friends as well - I am currently also on Council of the RMA (Royal Musical Assocation).

2010-06-05T18:06:00.003+01:00

Meet Garden Lady - she presides over my garden, shabbily chic - and today she's very happy because I cut the 6 foot hedge at the bottom of the garden. (Bottom? Our garden is so small that there hardly IS a top and a bottom to it.)

2010-06-03T00:48:00.003+01:00

I gave a conference paper on Skye at 12.45 pm today. (SuperSpouse phoned me at 9am in the lecture theatre to wish me luck, which I suppose will teach me not to forget to turn the blooming gadget OFF ...)

Saw a dolphin leap through the water in front of the ferry (wouldn't you?! leap, I mean, if you were a dolphin!), and had a lovely train-ride all the way home again.

But it's now 12.45 am, SuperSpouse is packing for his Last of the Summer Wine trip to Milan - where the guys are tram-surfing for their annual trip - and I'm tired. Incidentally, I've trained him NOT to call it a long weekend - six days away is a "short week", surely?

I shall iron one shirt ... before I fall asleep over the ironing board. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2010-05-29T10:37:00.006+01:00

A mother's place is in the wrong. Guiding principles:-

You cannot apologise enough
You cannot apologise too soon
You would imagine, therefore, that you cannot go wrong if you apologise before you do whatever-it-is in the first place
Sleep is no defence
If you don't replace the screw in the 11-year old's glasses at 6.10 am on a Saturday - in your sleep - you will assuredly be accused of screwing up his life when he's 13.
Appropriate sincerity and contrition can be acquired at drama school. Justify the expense by calling it continuing professional development.

2010-05-08T22:54:00.004+01:00

Well, what a day! It stretched forward, full of the promise of empty hours. Where did they all go?

The charity shop no longer had the boy's kilt that I had my eye on. Serve me right for not getting it 'on spec' a while ago.

Still, I've weeded the front border, washed the car, done a quantity of ironing, a similar (but different quantity of washing), and started some more marking. Ho-hum.

Cello-Kid's Highers start this week, so we're about to drink cider and munch garlic bread, to wish him well in his endeavours. Readers of Pseudo-Supermum, do send messages of support!

Image from express-invigilators/co.uk, with thanks.

2010-04-25T17:07:00.002+01:00

Etiquette prevents me from explaining why I'm having a tantrum. But yes, you're right - I'm in a strop. I was having such a lovely day, and then - boom! - suddenly I wasn't. Aaargh! Who would aspire to be a PseudoSupermum?

2010-04-25T15:19:00.004+01:00

So here I am on a dull Sunday afternoon, revelling in the knowledge that I've done my essay-marking. Just six essays, but I'm new to this marking lark, so it felt like quite a big deal to me.

Yesterday was the Musica Scotica conference. I read a paper, which went down surprisingly well.

The paper was actually written several weeks ago, and on Friday night I reduced it to notes so as to prevent myself from reading it verbatim. Then - at 1.10 am! - I read it to SuperSpouse. Calamity. It was too long, but worse still, it was boringly dull. And there was a mistake in one PowerPoint caption, though that was easily remedied. (Good thing SuperSpouse spotted it!)

What was I to do, though? No time to re-write, if I had to sleep before reading the paper a mere 9 hours later. So I stood there with my notes, cheerfully skipping over bits and omitting over-long quotations, and it went just fine. There has to be a lesson there somewhere.

There is a feeling of luxury about a Sunday afternoon with nothing pressing to be done, and comfy slippers on one's feet!

However, I do need to make a casserole for dinner, and ice a birthday cake. So maybe I'll put the kettle on first, then make a start.

2010-04-13T19:35:00.006+01:00

Just back from Nottingham, where I attended the IAML (UK & Irl) ASW.

'The what?', I hear you ask.

'The International Association of Music Libraries' UK and Ireland Branch, Annual Study Weekend.' There, now you know! So we talked, and networked, and heard papers, had our AGM, and went to a great piano recital on Saturday evening (Roy Howat, Chopin and French composers influenced by Chopin), and the Annual Dinner on Sunday evening.

Back to work today (sigh!), a little tired but otherwise unscathed, and clutching a whole load of trade catalogues etc, from which I passed on details of the books and music I felt we ought to order.

Stuck with 3.5 hours wait at Nottingham Airport, I invested in some career development books -

Emma De Vita, The Management Masterclass

Jurgen Wolff, Focus: the Power of Targeted Thinking

All went well until I got stuck into Jurgen and his Focus. 'Have you not had a pay-rise in two years?' (0.5 % is probably not what he had in mind ...) I stand condemned. Clearly I am not applying myself to my career development with enough dedication and - well, Focus.

I'll let you know what happens when I've finished the book and worked out what I have to do.

2010-03-29T00:05:00.008+01:00

And the Errant One is away again, this time off to Brussels with a fellow tram-fan. (They're welcome - I'd be sight-seeing frantically if I were there!)

So, have I had a quiet, restful time? What do you think?!

Friday - took the day off. Scrubbed the bathroom ceiling (excessive adolescent showering with inadequate ventilation having made it mildewy). Removed the bath sealant (similarly affected). Replaced sealant and whitened grouting. Did supermarket order, got laundry and ironing up to date, and singlehandedly organised the family taxi-runs! (Oh, and allowed myself the pleasurable luxury of lunch out with a girlfriend.) That was Friday.

Saturday, we went to Edinburgh and went underground (Mary King's Close), had a Subway lunch (how apt), and then surveyed Edinburgh from the air - well, the camera obscura, to be precise. By the time we got home, I was knackered, but still had more laundry, catering, family taxi-ing and supervision of music practice. ************

Today - two trips to Bearsden, one to Braehead, laundry, catering, family taxi-ing - much as before. But with the added joy of a special church event organised by Yours Truly - the Killermont Palm Sunday Big Sing.
**************
I've well and truly cracked it this time. Work out what people like - give them it - encourage them to sing their hearts out, and Bob's your uncle! Lots of happy people. Fantastic!

2010-03-06T00:44:00.003Z

What a pantomime! I've rushed hither and yon all over the landscape, doing the family taxi-service 'toute-seule' in SuperSpouse's absence.

Did the online supermarket order this evening, too but things came unravelled as I tried to synchronise the shopping order with the new Tesco online diet club thingy. Could I do it? EACH DAILY MENU needed modifying. Then the shopping list changed. Then I had to remember what else I had intended to buy in the first place. Oh, DAMN! I've forgotten teabags.

To make matters worse, I now have a headache and my shoulders are agony. I think I'll just add tea to the order then head to bed. I'm wearying of trying to be the Perfect Parent.

2010-03-04T00:13:00.003Z

Will I buy wine while I'm in Tesco? No, it's not the weekend. Yes, but I gave a successful lecture today ...

.. and I've now had THREE round trips to Paisley in five hours, AND made a velour-covered top-hat for Saxophone Kid's Dress-as-a-Fictional-Character event at school ...

... supervised the typing of a long homework story, and antagonised another offspring by dictating that we do NOT have the heater on in the bedroom overnight.

Where's that wine?!! Just the usual solitary glass, nothing more. But I do feel I deserve it! (There's a lot to be said for buying a better quality wine that happens to be on half-price special offer, she mused, mellowly.)

2010-02-07T23:32:00.002Z

How sad! Solitarily sitting here, checking for messages, with a solitary glass of wine in front of me, at half past eleven on a Sunday night. As the clock ticks relentlessly on, the chances of any incoming emails get smaller.

I suppose the only good thing is that it IS just a solitary glass of wine - no chance of me turning into a wino.

SuperSpouse has gone to bed terribly tired. A certain other person has gone to bed truculently tired. The other one was just plain tired, and went to sleep almost immediately.

Half of me wants to go to bed, and the other half can't even be bothered going there.

2010-02-07T23:27:00.004Z

Sunday teen-induced depression:-

2010-01-26T20:16:00.001Z

Happy Saxophone-Kid came 2nd in the Under-13's Woodwind Class at Inverclyde Music Festival, Greenock. We're very proud.

2010-01-26T19:32:00.002Z

I can do it! I've lectured on Haydn's 'Lark' Quartet, taken a seminar, and ditto for Mozart's 'Dissonance'. I work on the principle that if you do something challenging often enough, it becomes commonplace.

In about five weeks' time, I'm giving a lecture on late 19th/early 20th century Scottish music. But I'm allowing myself a few nights off before I start preparing for it. I have plenty of non-academic books crying out to be read, so I might as well indulge myself.

2010-01-26T19:27:00.002Z

Mad hungry: feeding men and boys, by Lucinda Scala Quinn.

I've ordered a copy!

2010-01-20T22:05:00.000Z

My horoscope in today's Evening Times: 'There is not a lot to be gained by overanalysing a simple but entertaining TV show, but there are other areas of life where a deeper investigation would be more in order. You could find a more enquiring side of your nature starts to boot up now.' Er - like analysing the Dissonance Quartet in depth, maybe??? I started on the Adagio, blinked, and four pages of lecture appeared...

2010-01-17T12:17:00.003Z

Poor Pseudo Supermum, deflated Supermum, headache-smitten Supermum. I'm so TIRED of playing umpire and endeavouring to keep the electorate happy!

Someone give me a one-way ticket to anywhere that's not a war-zone!

2010-01-12T18:19:00.002Z

I've clearly been a librarian way too long - I found a file in which I'd kept EVERY Lego, K'nex and Bionicle leaflet my boys have ever had.

But now I can officially call myself a musicologist as well, and I'm left asking, "What does this tell me about the person who kept these documents? Is there a deeper meaning?"

Yikes - do I declutter my home or my mind first?

2010-01-08T23:43:00.004Z

I wanted my graduation to be a memorable day - and I succeeded! I was determined not to miss out anything that I might later regret 'economising' on! So here is the portrait of Pseudosupermum, SuperSpouse and Cello-Kid.

Viola-Kid and Saxophone-Kid came home from school and shared fireworks with us in the garden, and were satisfied with their share in the celebrations!

2009-12-31T17:40:00.012Z

CROYDON CURLEY'S CUSHION

I should explain that Croydon Curley is an elderly gentleman with a passion for trams, and Croydon trams in particular.

What does one give a man who has everything he needs? Why, a Curley Cushion of course! Inspired by thc liveries of the old and new Croydon trams, I created a double-sided cushion cover reflecting these liveries. Behold!

2009-12-24T22:47:00.008Z

Jamie Oliver's Christmas magazine had a nice gingerbread house to make. Brilliant, I thought - that will make a change from Asda's Frosty the Snowman recipe. To the left is what his house looked like.

Mine took blooming HOURS! And is all lop-sided. What a waste of an afternoon and evening. It took every bit as long as Frosty the Snowman, and I'm no more satisfied with it than I was with Frosty last year and the year before.

Let me tell you more about my day. I've baked, made soup, done a bit of patchwork for a late Christmas present, done laundry, been to church and played for half a service ... (the band played the other half). Came home, worked on the stupid gingerbread house, and listened whilst civil war raged above me. SuperSpouse had waded in to sort it out, but I don't think a saint could have brought things to a satisfactory resolution.

I haven't got a headache today. That's a plus. However, I have a stiff neck which is so sore it's making me feel nauseous, so I'll have to take painkillers all the same.

Santa doesn't want to come to our house tonight. And I wish I were in bed, and it was 24 hours hence. Bah, humbug! I'll say it again, a bit louder -

Bah, humbug!!!!

2009-12-03T23:23:00.003Z

Doctor PseudoSupermum graduated from the University of Glasgow yesterday! And now, thanks to modern technology, you can see it happening.

First, turn on the sound.
Click this link http://www.gla.ac.uk/services/it/graduationwebcast/
Next, click on Wednesday 2nd December. There's a ceremonial procession of academics first, then a Latin hymn and prayer, and then the graduation itself begins.
I'm the 15th person to get a degree, and it's 8 minutes in from the start! We had a great day - very exciting and the weather was obligingly cold but DRY! SuperSpouse and Cello-Kid were in attendance.

Since I only got 2 visitors' tickets, we had fireworks at home when the other two boys got back from school. A wise move - they were completely unperturbed to have missed my Big Day, and watched the relevant minute online this evening!

2009-12-01T23:08:00.002Z

On the eve of our wedding, I ironed.
On the morning of the birth of our firstborn, I ironed.
Can't remember what I did before going to hospital for the second and third.
Tonight, the eve of my doctoral graduation ...

Now, WOULD you believe it?! SuperSpouse thought he'd surprise me (he did) by doing ALL the ironing. So I'm deprived of my ritual calming-down activity!

Quick, where's the small sherry and a piece of that delicious cake I baked last weekend?

MEANWHILE, flying high ... I've been shortlisted for a travelling scholarship and elected to Council of the Royal Musical Association. I can hardly believe these things are happening to me. There's depth to the quiet librarian.

2009-11-21T23:28:00.006Z

Who said people with hearing aids are deaf? Naturally, we're not deaf. If we were completely deaf, there'd be no point in hearing aids!

So, we have hearing impairment. In my case, only mild hearing loss. But I tell you, my ears are practically ringing after an hour with Piano Kid (Mark 1) hammering the keys right beside me.

My ears (and nerves) were eventually jangling so badly that I took the blasted hearing aids OUT and put ON headphones, to try to deaden the sound. My headphones let in too much sound, it would appear.

Don't get me wrong - he's very good. But sight-reading, loud, at 11.30 pm at night?

M - E -R - C - Y !!! (Is anyone listening?)

2009-11-19T23:13:00.007Z

A propos of Belle de Jour, you can call me Clair de Lune! It's sexier than Pseudo-Supermum. And more transparent. Pseudo-Supermum has been living a lie all these years, because as anyone close to her can affirm, she isn't really super at all. (I don't have a photo of me in fishnets, but I'll see what I can do with my mobile phone camera!)

Clair de Lune has spent too much time in Testosterone Manor, and has now contracted a nasty ailment which the medical community hasn't yet recognised as even possible - yes, reader, I have Man-Flu. It has finally jumped across the species. The wretches have coughed and spluttered and breathed all over me for a fortnight and now I, too, feel wretched with a cough that won't give up and a tendency to headaches and fever. Yeurghhh! (Click on the link for a public health commercial about Man-Flu.)

Saxophone Kid, of course, being younger and more resilient, has thrown off his mini Man-Flu, and picked up Adolf for a quick practice before his lesson this evening. (Isn't that when one always practises best?) Unfortunately, he had just balanced Adolf on the arm of the chair, whence he fell to the ground with a thud. Saccident-Prone Saxophone-Kid now has a crocked, crooked crook, and Adolf can reach neither high nor low notes until he is repaired. Sigh!

What was wrong with the nice saxophone STAND which I bought a year or so ago?

"Um, never thought of that", he said sheepishly. How strange!

2009-11-17T20:43:00.003Z

Well, there's a strange thing. While Pseudo Supermum was busy being a full-time working librarian (not to mention church organist) wife and mother, calmly getting her PhD thesis written, preparing for the viva, doing the corrections, all in her 'spare time', ...
... she could have been financing her studies more interestingly, by emulating Belle de Jour!

Suddenly Pseudo Supermum feels strangely old-fashioned, conventional, positively boring. What a dull and routine life she's led.

Pseudo Supermum's mother didn't know she was doing a doctorate at all.

However, the news that her daughter is now a doctor, will have come as less of a shock than the news that La Maman de la Belle de Jour is to receive this week! Read the Times Online article here.

Daughters do have this way of surprising their mothers, don't they?

2009-11-14T15:14:00.002Z

The coughing, spluttering one is going to have a band practice with his mates this afternoon. I think he's going stir-crazy being cooped up in the house. This is a Good Sign - working towards a return to school on Monday.

Meanwhile, his big brother is off to a choir practice, little brother to a birthday party, and SuperSpouse on his way back from the party-run, leaving me awaiting Mr Tesco. Oh, the exCITEment of my life!

And it's only 3.15 pm. I've washed, folded, ironed laundry, baked cake, made pizza (well, the bread-machine helped ...), and polished the dining-room. Now to mend that broken necklace of mine. Something for me at last!

2009-11-03T01:13:00.003Z

Viola-Kid might, quite possibly, have swine-flu. Oh, joy!

Figure this one:

SuperSpouse cannot go near him for fear he catches it. (72, heart condition, 2 recent major operations ...)
Saxophone Kid wants to avoid getting it
Cello Kid will come home terrified of catching it
Pseudo-Supermum is a healthy adult so must therefore run around like a headless chicken ensuring no-one else gets sick.
Everyone needs Pseudo-Supermum, and if she gets sick, there's nowhere she can be quarantined apart from the carpeted but cluttered and incredibly dusty attic. An inviting prospect.

Sadly, I can't attend my uncle's funeral - I can't leave Glasgow if I have a sick boy whose father is not allowed near him!

This evening I phoned directory enquiries twice, NHS24 twice, Mum twice, Aunt once, National Rail Enquiries, Scotrail Enquiries, went to Asda for Nurofen and more soft drinks, put two loads of washing through, emptied the dishwasher, and had two attempts at creating slides for next week's PowerPoint. "Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with you. You're being ridiculous. What are you getting so uptight about?"

Quite so. What on earth could be upsetting me?! I'm just being a silly woman.

2009-10-31T20:21:00.003Z

Dress to impress:-

One satisfactory shopping trip! I just need the hair and maybe some uncharacteristic make-up and four well-groomed males to accompany me. Working on it - two voluntarily went to the hairdresser's today, and one last week. I should know - I was chauffeur!

2009-10-31T20:10:00.002Z

This is my graduation gift from my loving SuperSpouse - the final piece in my collection of college and university crests!

Collection?, you ask. Well, yes. My guilty past encompasses Durham, Exeter, Aberystwyth, and Trinity College London. And the McAulay crest as well, naturally. But this latest one is really rather splendid. I feel as though I ought to be sipping a fine sherry as I gaze upon it, Daah-ling!

Instead, I shall apply myself to the question of cultural nationalism in the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries, in order to share my wisdom with some students in a couple of weeks' time!

2009-10-29T00:45:00.006Z

Sometimes I get a lot done in a night. Once the co-codamol kicked in for the headache that had bugged me all day, I was up and raring to go.

Church choir music planned for Advent and Epiphany
Phoned home to speak to Mum
Trip to Banbury researched but not booked (British Rail ticket offices close at 10.30 pm for advance bookings, whilst I was trying to be clever and beat the postal strike at 10.55 pm ...
Gaelic homework done
And now a nice little glass of wine before bed. Yes, it's "after midnight".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was very moved by a letter which arrived from Mum today, in which she sent a cheque to pay for my PhD hood. My father died 17 months ago, but Mum wrote that I was to regard the hood as a gift from her and Dad, because he'd have wanted to buy this for me. I nearly cried when I read it. She'd signed it, "From Mum (and Dad)." I never thought I'd see that again. Thanks, Mum - and thanks, Pa! You see, Pa? I did it, eventually!

2009-10-21T22:47:00.011+01:00

There! One successful thesis. I went out early this morning to collect it from the bookbinder, and dashed to the University at lunchtime to hand it in.
*

*
Dr Pseudosupermum now feels entitled to review the status quo:-

Thesis accepted;
Thesis filed electronically;
Thesis bound & delivered;
Gown, hood and photographer ordered;
Party venue booked;
Still to buy party dress and invitations -

Ah, the sweet smell of success!

2009-10-13T22:29:00.004+01:00

It's Official - Pseudosupermum becomes Dr Pseudosupermum

Both my examiners have declared themselves happy. So now there's nothing to do but sign up for the gown and hood, and investigate whether we can afford a celebratory party! (And where, and how.)

2009-10-10T23:09:00.002+01:00

WHERE IT ALL HAPPENED

Introducing my dining-room alcove. Home within a home! (Would it make you completely sick to learn that the files on the middle shelf are not only alphabetically arranged outside, but inside too?)

I need to write some abstracts for conferences at which I hope to present papers. But maybe not tonight.

2009-10-08T22:17:00.002+01:00

Image from http://www.fireworks.com, with grateful thanks! This is a Grand Finale from their website, and I've chosen it because ...

...

..... I've had a favourable response to my revisions from my American external examiner! Which leaves only ONE more response before I can really, truly call myself Doctor McAulay. Keep watching this space ...

2009-10-06T21:20:00.002+01:00

TWITTER AND TWEETING

As I said, I'm not going to start tweeting onto Pseudosupermum. Too much hassle. However, a nice man from Virgin (mobile phone) talked me through setting up my mobile to Tweet directly onto my professional blog. You know what the problem was? (Apart from it being not in the slightest bit intuitive, so I'd never have guessed it could be done from the mobile end rather than the internet on my computer.) Virgin Mobile didn't know I was over 18.

I did, at that point, advise him that my eldest son was now 16, so I thought I was probably somewhat over 18 myself! But they had to do the phone equivalent of a credit check to establish that I was an adult homeowner!

I'm not at all sure I shall be tweeting onto my library blog on a regular basis - it all seems such a fiddly operation - but at least, if I am away from the office, I can now get postings onto the blog if I need to. One small step for a librarian - one giant step for ...

... no. I've got that wrong somewhere. But it could be useful, I suppose.

2009-10-04T22:55:00.003+01:00

Aaah, stuff it! I've tried to get a Twitter rss feed going to this blog, but all I get is "Net Temps" in the Blogger RSS feed layout box (eh?) and the same original tweet that I did last night. There will be no tweeting on this blog. Life is too short.

Ever felt you'd had a weekend with NOTHING to show for it?

2009-10-04T09:00:00.004+01:00

Ah. I haven't got my rss feeds sorted out yet - they're not updating from Twitter. Hmmm.

To be continued ...

2009-10-03T22:18:00.005+01:00

GOING ROUND IN CIRCLES

So I'm not in Facebook now. Considering Cello-Kid had a classmate boasting that he'd "befriended" me earlier this week, it's probably just as well I deactivated Facebook. Means the lad was just winding up Cello-Kid.

Indeed, the whole CLASS threatened to befriend me. Eh? What on earth for?! Anyway, they can't.

So how am I to keep up with friends? There had to be another way. I already have a professional twitter. Now I have a personal one, too. There is still a slight problem, though. I can't send text messages to Twitter via my PAYG Virgin mobile. I've emailed Virgin to ask why not. I suspect it has to do with short codes and Virgin PAYG not accepting them, but I'll let them tell me that themselves before I'll accept that as a reason!

What's more, I can post to Twitter on the net, but how do I let friends know I have this new Twitter, and how do I find my friends?

So far, all I've managed to do is set up the Twitter account and set up an rss feed from Twitter to Pseudo Supermum. And that's the extent of my expertise! Time for wine, supper and an early night.

(Postscript. Aw shucks! I'm not convinced my rss feed is updating. Too much technology!)

2009-10-03T21:10:00.002+01:00

THIS HAS BEEN THE WEEK FROM HELL!

All the new students arrived, and it's great to see all those enthusiastic, eager young faces - but how many library induction sessions did I run? I lost count! I'm so very, very tired. I only had two splitting headaches. Too much caffeine, several painkillers, and excessive carbohydrates. However, after a week of rushing around from pillar to post, what did I do to finish off the week?

Took the boys to Boys Brigade, went home and checked my thesis revisions, went to the uni library to format the pdf again, collected the boys from Boys Brigade, then resubmitted the thesis to my examiners. Phew! Talk about a flamboyant end to the week!

2009-09-30T23:03:00.005+01:00

CAUTIOUS OPTIMISM!

I've just saved the Word document listing all my thesis revisions and corrections, and will be doing a new pdf of the revised thesis within the next few days.

I would like to hope, cautiously, that "that's it"! I do hope and pray that the examiners will pronounce themselves satisfied!

My supervisor did say, at the end of the viva, that "Knowing Karen, she'll get that lot done in two days." I didn't. But with all that's been going on in my life, to have done it in one month rather than two, is good enough for me. So long as it's good enough for them too!

Here's me, after our "Two Knees and a PhD" summer. I think I've aged somewhat, new hairdo or not. Compared to me before I even started it. There must be a moral there somewhere!

2009-09-29T21:11:00.003+01:00

Well, I had a Facebook account. Was told off for being an embarrassing parent. (It's not cool to comment on your teenage son's postings.) I've deactivated Facebook.

Presumably, anyone who wants to keep up with me will visit PseudoSupermum or email me.

2009-09-16T17:00:00.003+01:00

Let me share with you a blog by an Indian IT person who got a lacewing beetle in his ear:-

Story begins ...
Sad demise of beetle
But, since India is warmer than the UK, they get malaria-carrying insects too ...

I have Rohit to thank for the HappyEars jpg on my penultimate posting. He kindly gave me permission to use the jpg, so I thought I'd share some of his entertaining writing with you. Let no-one dare suggest that IT people don't have a sense of humour!

2009-09-16T11:45:00.004+01:00

Woke up to a new dawn - SuperSpouse having had another bad night (2.15 am, bang-bang on the wall: bring the icepack!). Ah well! Life still goes on, so I got the boys off to school, gratefully opened the door to the delivery-man bringing CelloKid's birthday present, then went for money for the roofer.

You know the expression, ODTAA? The roofer found a wasp-nest. So now the pest control people are booked, too. You try to book via the City Council, and are told that (a) they'll come within 5 days and (b) not if your wasp-nest is over 20 foot off the ground. Wasps are canny - they go for the eaves ....? You book a private firm, same price but they'll come today and aren't bothered if the wasps are 25 foot off the ground. Good!

Had hoped to do some work on my thesis revisions so as not to waste time, but there hasn't BEEN any time in all the domesticity. How can stay-at-home wives write about being a peaceful little oasis of tranquility for their husbands and children? I'm not a peaceful little oasis of anything at all. More like a mini whirlwind, and not a warm, gentle little zephyr at that!

*****

Spent the afternoon peacefully working on a library guide as suggested by my boss. Yes, I can work from home very productively indeed. Doesn't happen often, but I've proved it can be done!

2009-09-15T15:14:00.007+01:00

"The bells, the bells, they're driving me mad!"

Yesterday morning started inauspiciously. SuperSpouse was nursing his painful new knee in bed, having had a bad night. I should have been at work, but I wasn't. Went downstairs to sort breakfast and the boys' packed lunches, and turned to empty the washing machine. Everything was curiously wet. Not damp, dripping wet. Hmmmm....

No lights on the machine, nothing. Looked out the maintenance contract, phoned - but it was too early, and there was no-one there. You never get a same-day callout, but the closer to start-of-day, the better your chances of a next-day call. Then I thought. (Dangerous, this.)

No lights. No electricity, perhaps? Changed the washing machine fuse, and bingo! Seemingly back in business again.

But as the washing machine obligingly spun its load a second time, the ringing started. No wonder the Hunchback of Notre Dame cried. Only with me, it wasn't the washing machine, and it wasn't the bells driving me mad, it was my left hearing-aid. Ringgggggggggg! Wheeeeeeeee! Wail! Ouch. You don't have to be hard of hearing to understand this, but it helps.

I moved through to the dining room. It whistled. Somewhat later, I loaded the washing-machine again. As it filled up, the ringing started again. Moved my head - more ringing. Went upstairs - same. Back at the computer, I scrolled the mouse. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Need I go on? Today, I'm still at home. SuperSpouse is still in bed, perhaps a little less sore than yesterday. But I've been to the audiometry clinic and they replaced my left hearing-aid. Like a headache, you only know how much it hurt when it goes away. I can shake my head without the whistling in my ear. Thank God for that!

2009-08-29T17:57:00.003+01:00

Peace reigns! SuperShrimp is at a playdate. ViolaKid is playing electric guitar, almost certainly loudly, in Someone Else's House (yeah!), and CelloKid has vanished upstairs into the embraces of his laptop. Does it get any better than this?

Cava and Cake (Asda "Celebration" cake) will be enjoyed later on tonight, if everyone is feeling sufficiently friendly and chilled out to co-exist in the same space for a half an hour or so.

Think I'll investigate applying for a Fellowship of my professional association (CILIP) once I can officially call myself Doctor. Just want the cap, hood and diploma first ...

And I've checked, and Graduation is at the beginning of December. I shall try to get the revisions done well BEFORE 1st November, to be on the safe side.

2009-08-28T22:50:00.002+01:00

Well, I did it. One PhD, part-time in my spare time, submitted on time. I had the viva today and can announce to the world that, subject to a few revisions, I passed! (Don't call me "Doctor" yet, folks - I want to get the revisions done and my name on the graduation list first!)

I'm shattered. I have a headache and no inclination to drink the Rose Cava that I got in specially for tonight. But, after a good sleep, maybe I'll feel better... the Cava will still be there tomorrow night, after all.

The viva? Took 50 minutes, wasn't as nerve-wracking as I'd feared, but I was very glad I'd prepared for it so carefully.

2009-08-03T18:54:00.002+01:00

Gnashing of teeth, weeping and wailing

Super-Shrimp and I took Viola-Kid to Stirling for his music course this morning. ('Don't come in with me, Mum. I can DO IT MYSELF! Just leave me outside.' I did go in, though.)

Stirling Castle was next on the agenda. But I couldn't get back the way I'd come, because of a diversion, which took me on a big 4-mile circle back to the University. With the Irishman on the sat-nav screaming at me to 'Turn round, turn round' - fat lot of use considering there was no way I could go over a bridge that was only open in the opposite direction.

A passer-by told me I'd better get on the motorway and go back to Stirling that way, which I did. The castle car-park was full. A parking attendant handed me a futile, dark little leaflet telling me there was a park-and-ride ... but not telling me where it was!

So we had a Burger King at Stirling services, and went home. Super-Shrimp was very happy with his burger meal, Simpson's comic and chocolate bar. What a relief to have an accomodating, accepting 10-year old!

The Salvation Army had NOT collected the bags of charity stuff that they'd asked me to leave on the doorstep (this being Monday), so later on in the afternoon, I sallied forth to a different charity shop. By the time I got there, it was shut. As was the next one on the way home.

What a huge waste of a precious day's leave!!!